The Service Chronicles 24: Allawee

Tuesday was a breeze. It started the way all my days here start which is with Devotion and then playing around but as God would have it there was light so I just went back to bed and watched a movie; Interstellar. Five minutes into the movie I had to find someone who would explain the dynamics of space to me, so I kidnapped Churchill and he tried a little but Namnam was so much more helpful. After I had walked around with Churchill for my lesson I sank back again to bed for more lessons. 

 That morning something bad happened at the lodge. We didn’t have food due to the non-complying nature of our darling government, so we had to source for food. I went to the Mishai (I don’t know the real spelling, sha those Mallam guys that make noodles) in the next street and had a sumptuous breakfast. NEPA had done their favorite hobby, so I went to a hall in the compound where there was light and as I sat down rather lay down; there was a mat there, they turned off the generator. I still persevered and in less than twenty minutes I heard the roar of a generator. 

I finished Interstellar and to my beautiful confusion, I was disappointed. Okay maybe not disappointed I just didn’t understand how the writers of the movie thought it was okay to fill the imagination of the world by telling us that a black hole is made up of a three dimensional world that is full of bookshelves that can be used to send messages using gravity by sending binary codes of the coordinates to a secret NASA hide out or push out books from the other side of the black hole from the past to people in the future. See, if I have managed to confuse you and not convince you not to watch this movie please forgive me, it wasn’t purely intentional. The worst thing they did in that movie was say that a person can get out of a black hole, all my life in my little knowledge of astronomy a black hole never gives back what it takes, never ever.  So how could Matthew McConaughey have gotten out of the black hole? 

I don’t know sha, overall it wasn’t so bad. 

After the movie I wrote a lot and then had a chat with EJoe, very cool nigga. Had my bath rather late and then as I chilled and tried to enjoy the evening someone came with the news that the Allawee fever had stared spreading and it started with Diamond Bank and as Jehovah would have it my Allawee account is with Diamond Bank. So I turned on my phone that was still acting up and lo and behold I saw the message that I had been waiting for. A debit alert! Let’s just saw I burst into the dance sequence from Alingo although I can’t do it but that didn’t stop me. I went to grab a snack of cereal and I had a game with Ezekiel the current CLO of Ilorin South. It was crazy fun let’s just say that we wasted a lot of cereal. 

Jennifer had gone for the send forth party of her CDS group; the wicked girl did not even deem it fit invite me; I will have to do my own back (and I mean this). While I created the slide for Godswill’s VS which was completely fun on its own, Layo CLI came around and then she recounted a sad tale to me. Apparently she had been mugged. Some guy had directed her to where she can get a taxi and then unknowingly he entered the same cab as her. In Ilorin the means of transport are cabs and bikes, few kekes and fewer buses. So she entered a cab with the guy that directed her, only for the driver to stop her somewhere else, he apologized and she agreed but the problem arose when she tried to open the door. The door wasn’t opening so while she struggled with the door they grabbed her phone from her bag and to compound matters it’s a phone she just bought. Well sad stuff; she meet Lagos in Ilorin. The funny thing about it is that she is not the first person to tell me about this, it happened to a girl in serving in my school too. Well if you’re in Ilorin and you’re reading this please just be careful, we thank God it was just their phones they took and not something more precious like body parts. 

Well I had a stroll to the bank with Godswill, tried to get food but to no avail. I ended up having garri for dinner. Godswill’s Valedictory  speech was fun too. 

Before I went to bed had a long talk with Namnam I absolutely love that boy; in the most platonic way o, before you mischievous people start putting five and a million together to get to stupid conclusions. We talked about Churchill and me then we had an intelligent conversation about astronomy in relation to the relativity of time.

When his girlfriend Joy got back from Choir rehearsals, we ended our convo and I retreated to my darling games and eventually to sleep.

Boye has confirmed the existence of a girlfriend and I have to say to I feel…

Nkem Oyaghire