Saturday 9 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 20: Tolerance




Friday I woke up with nerves, I was taking the message for the day and I honestly have to say I was nervous as hell. I rang the bell for devotion and roused everybody from their slumber. Waited for everybody to leave for devotion, this is another one of my plenty duties. As I got to church it was already six am, so I just had to wait till 6:05 before I went up, as I walked up to the pulpit I almost wanted to run back. I was really frightened, how can smallie me be teaching all these people. If you even hear the topic I was going to speak on you will just laugh at me. I was to speak on Tolerance. If you know me you would laugh really hard before you continue reading, when I told Mama Nkem she laughed at me and said “me that needs tolerance the most”.

I am the least tolerant person I know. I can fly off the handle at anything and anybody, react to any situation in any way, either with tears or a terrible laugh and I have the worst kind of laughter you may hear. Okay, maybe not the worst, the worst kind of laughter is the kind that has like a snort attached to it, people that laugh like that need to attend classes on how to laugh. 

I sometimes laugh like all these evil witches in the movies, like I have that down I think it is the Edo girl thing and then I can laugh like a cartoon character. Nnamdi has said it sounds like a minion laughing. My reactions to situations have not an ounce of tolerance to it. I am too emotional to be tolerant but I think after admonishing people on the importance of not being a hot head or as Koch likes to say “a loose cannon” I have no choice but to turn from my wicked ways. 

So I stood at that altar that was taller than me and after the first two minutes of praying with a shaky voice. I looked up to pour out what I had learnt about tolerance in the bible and I saw the smiling face of Jennifer (friend at the lodge) and even though it was not supposed to encourage me, I just knew that I could do it and I spoke. Even dropped some punch lines that I didn’t expect (I just chuckled at the memory). I said that when people are able to tolerate one another there is a “certain kind of peace you get from being at peace with everyone around you”. The point is that I think I did good and I am really grateful to God that it didn’t blow up in my face. 

The rest of the day was full of people testing my tolerance and calling me tolerance. Like one guy almost got me, I was just standing outside waiting for Churchill to give me my slippers that the good Lord sent to me. Okay, on Monday when I got back I sad to note that one leg of my bathroom slippers had been kidnapped so in desperation and utter desolation (I have to advertise my course of study sometimes na) I wandered about barefooted for a while (it makes me feel even more closer to the ground than I already am) Lo and behold during my barefooted wandering I saw this ridiculously large pair of slippers that is not really rubber and I dusted them and put them on. Since then nobody has come to meet me for the slippers and they are uber comfortable and large just as I like my slippers. So while I waited for Churchill to return them (he borrowed them the day before) Michael Falaye (another lodge fellow) just came and shoved my shoulder, I swear my eyes actually flashed I was ready to lash out at him. I could see the process of my next actions forming. You know how it is in the movies when the wheels just start turning and there is fire everywhere then everything in the person’s head just turns red and the next thing we see someone chasing another person with the intent to kill. That was what was happening in my head the next intolerant word was already on my lips and just like a switch the process just stopped and everything in my head returned to their normal colour (which I suspect is red too) and I just laughed at him. 

Friday was just there as usual. When I couldn’t take the crushing boredom anymore I called some dude from camp who was on my case and I think is still is; Jackson. Went to his house to see him came back to the lodge later at night and made some calls.  

Yes the news about Boye, well reports reaching me says that he was seen with his girlfriend on Tuesday and they looked super cozy and happy and that just raises the question “what am I doing?” I am not a seize the bae girl and I just might be taking his friendliness for something else. I really need to calm down in my head (I can see you haters nodding in agreement, if I catch you... Don’t just let me catch you)
My final word for you today is be tolerant. *big smile*

Nkem Oyaghire

No comments: