Articles

Once Upon my Broken Heart 

                                     
Once upon a time I overheard a conversation between two people. A boy and a girl. Amidst tears and very distraught she asked him, how he felt when he saw Ginny the girl he loved with Dean another boy; she had just seen the boy she loved kiss another girl. He hugged her and all he could say was "it feels like this". His response was really silly to me and I didn’t deem it important then. In light of recent events I dig into my memory to find a cure for the pain I feel and then I remember what that girl asked that boy, but now instead of replaying what he replied I fill in the blanks with my own words
It feels like a million rocks in your stomach and you feel frightfully heavy, it is really scary cos at that moment you become short of breath not because you have been running or even doing any tedious thing, you are just really scared. Scared may seem too big a word to use but the feeling that envelopes you when you realize that the person you thought perfect for you doesn't seem to think you fit into their picture of perfect. In that moment of fear your stomach clenches and you think that nothing else in this world matters apart from the pain you feel.
It feels like a knife was stuck into your gut and twisted repeatedly and there's nothing you can do about it. Helplessly you stare at the situation in front of you and you know without a doubt that there is absolutely nothing that can be done to salvage your slowly breaking heart. You feel like your heart is been crushed and the images of the two of you slowly dissolve into nothingness, in most cases it is at this point that tears spring forth and all the feelings and emotions that you can't explain are displayed in form of tears, for that boy was right, there are no words strong enough to describe the feeling of a broken heart.  
I write this in the aftermath of the pain I felt months ago and remember that the journey to a healed heart that seemed ages away is coming to an end and in the words of this too popular and cliché quote I say; what didn't kill me made me stronger and now in remembrance to that brief moment of shared pain between that boy and that girl. I smile and I know that I can truthfully now say "I'm fine." When asked "How are you?" Because now I know I no longer feel a very deep longing and so much pain when I think of you.
@nkemoyaghire

Prestige by Sheels

Looking good is not easy as everyone thinks it is, considering the colours, styles, sizes and the rest. Sheels Clothing Inc., an emerging fashion label is here with “PRESTIGE” to make it look easier. Owner and designer of Sheels Clothing Inc. Aina Fayosola, previously released a creatively designed collection called The Trendy Nigerian. which is still blowing away minds of people with its designs. Sheels Clothing is back with another collection, tagged “PRESTIGE”

Prestige according to the Merriam Webster’s Dictionary is the ability to command position in people’s eyes, and I would boldly say that the designs give off an air of prestige and just like the Trendy Nigerian these designs are a representation of the name of this collection, the collection shows a high level of sophistication, fashion and style, there is everything for different sizes from straight gowns with lacy flared ends and a tiered maxi skirts, and the guys are not left out, even the materials used depicts prestige from lacy material to beautiful prints and patterns. Wearing clothes is something that is compulsory for humans but the choice of clothes we wear is no a compulsion, but it is necessary that we dress in a way that would command respect and would leave a strong impression about you with people, the designs in this collection would surely do that for you, because when your appearance on a first meeting is what matters to people. Wearing the clothes from the designs would give you a classy, elegant and powerful look.
Fayo’s sensibility as displayed in this collection is all about bringing out your graceful personality for ladies and strong personality for guys; taking into consideration the sizes of people. This label is a go-to label for fashion savvy individuals. “PRESTIGE” is one collection stylishly created and based on the love for fashion.
Now, if you have great taste for fashion and you want to know what fashion is all about. Then you should check out “PRESTIGE.”
View collection below…With photo shots by Rayvolution Media.
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 For more information, contact:
Email: sheelsclothinginc@gmail.com, fayo2k203@gmail.com.
Twitter: @sheelsclothingi, @fayo2k2
Call/whatsapp: 07039880979
BBM: 2AFF498B


The Trendy Nigerian.



This semester I started a class on African Literature and because of the broad nature of the idea Africa and the field of study literature, we discuss a lot of things that are African and Literature. African Literature cannot be exactly defined but the closest definition is“Literature that is African”, one of the hundred definitions of literature is that it is a mirror of the society. So it should come as no surprise that in a class where the basic discussions centre around things that reflect or mirror the African society, the idea of our native clothes came up and how the way Africans or Nigerians in particular always tend to buy English clothes and do not regale themselves in the beautiful fabrics of the African culture, as strange and bizarre as it sounds we have some people who don’t own a stitch of traditional wear. Our society and government has allowed for us to proudly wear the clothes that our colonial masters left behind for us to wear, to work in the white collar world you need to own a minimum of two suits, which I bet you is not agreeable with our weather and despite our pride in being an independent state we are acting exactly the way the our English maters expect us to, even though most of them are dead. We have dropped the “barbaric” nature of dress and picked the sophisticated English way of dressing.

Now I’m not saying we should go back to dressing the way our forefathers did and all that or we should totally drop the English way of dressing, there should be an incorporation of both in all our attires, a mix of the traditional and the English, not English wears throughout. Recently a fashion house; Sheels Clothing Inc, just released a fashion line called the Trendy Nigerian, and I have to say, these designs though in English style but with the use of Ankara, are things a person in the corporate world could wear without necessarily looking like they are going for a wedding, these are outfits you could wear for parties, to work, to classes (depends on your school) and any other place you may consider important. The good thing about this line is that the clothes are sophisticated, chic and cool at the same time they reflect the beauty of African fabric. The designer of this line created the designs with the idea of an English look represented with traditional fabric. We lost a lot to colonialism and we are still losing to it, but if we all can take a stand and choose to at least fight the continual decline of our culture with our dressing and say, let’s hold on to this tiny piece of our identity then we can in a small way beat our chests and call ourselves independent.
Below are some pictures from the fashion line.
Sheels Clothing Inc 8 Sheels Clothing Inc 6 Sheels Clothing Inc @ Sheels Clothing Inc 7 Sheels Clothing Inc 3 Sheels Clothing Inc 11 Sheels Clothing Inc 4 Sheels Clothing Inc 2 Sheels Clothing Inc 10 Sheels Clothing Inc Sheels Clothing Inc 5 Sheels Clothing Inc 9




The 3"inches rule.



When I heard the new rule implemented by my school which had to do with dress code I was astounded, what more could this people add to the already existing rules? Well my socks got knocked off me when I heard the additions.  Girls aren't allowed to wear skirts that were not 3"inches below the knee and boys had to stop wearing their Michael Jackson style of trousers, shave their beards and do some other silly things. More shocking was when the rule was supposed to commence; which was the next day. In the usual fashion of Redeemer's University, some religious fanatic woke up and felt that we deserved some more punishment for being students in this school and ta-da there was a new law. We the students were expected to follow the rule immediately.  The first question I asked is who informs the public about a new law and expects them to start abiding by it immediately? Even GEJ as thoughtless as he is wouldn't do that. A group of people called the Task Force were put in place to make sure we conform.

You see in this jail of a school,
our former uniform didn't allow for our skirts to have slits, which was bad enough. Now imagine there is a fire or some disastrous event about to take place, zoom we would be able to run fast and save ourselves if our clothes weren't so restricting,  but how in the world can I even walk when I'm wearing a skirt that is straight, without a slit and 3"inches below my knee? More than half of the population of the students are above 18 and by law are adults and as adults I think we are capable of making choices like keeping our beards or how long our skirts should be, it's bad enough we do our best possible to obey all of the old laws but to take your power too far is completely inhumane, unfair and not Christ like, if you decide to take it to religion. I overheard a boy say, "I was keeping my beards before I came to RUN, why do I have to shave it now?"
There are various reasons why this stupid rule shouldn't have been created in the first place. How a person dresses doesn't affect their education process, if my knees are showing I don't think my learning process will slow down or my brain would cease working. If they decide to pick the religious aspect and rub it in our noses then they are still silly for creating this, how I dress would in no way affect how I view God or will even stop him from seeing what is in my heart. These people who are supposed to be the true worshippers of God are full of impurities and trying to purge us of what you consider unholy does not make you clean. There are a lot of issues to address in your environment and the school and all you can think of is how to increase the length of our clothes. This absurdity will affect a lot of things, people would miss classes and the real reason for why they came to school wouldn't be fulfilled. This foolishness has made the gate keepers of our hostel called porters to have more power than they rightly deserve, bullying students and being completely tyrannical in their actions. The typical RUN female’s prayer every morning is “God please let me pass the gate”
The only question I have been able to answer in all of this madness is, what the problem of these people are and it finally dawned on me, their idea of what religion should be is their biggest problem, if not why else would you insist I wear what I won't feel confident or comfortable in just to please what you think is in the bible. If they weren’t so blinded by what they believe Christianity entails then this issue wouldn’t be present.

@nkemoyaghire


Think Good Thoughts



Repo games is probably my best T.V game show. For those who don’t know Repo games, it is a game show where people who haven’t completed their payments on their cars get a chance to answer three questions right out of five questions, if you fail your car gets repossessed. Sadly it doesn’t happen in Nigeria.  All the times I have watched it, people who lose have the same reactions; regret, anger, sometimes tears, some even beg,  a stripper once tried to give a show for her parents’ car to be returned.
But I found an exception; an Asian woman. It was clear she wasn’t going to win, she couldn’t even speak proper English, her enthusiasm died slowly as the game progressed and she realized she wasn’t going to have her car again.  When the team of Repo games was leaving she said “thank you Repo games, "you have my car, I don’t have to pay insurance and I don’t need to buy gas” and she invited the host to come to her restaurant. Not with sarcasm but with a clear mind. In her current state of lack of an automobile she looked for the bright side and decided to stand on that.

Upon seeing the reaction this woman I became sort of humbled, a lot of people when facing a terrible situation or a misfortune they begin to look for the reason why that shouldn't have happened, instead look for reasons why it happened , so you are broke, think about it as an avenue for you to work harder or save more next time , you have lost a loved one thank God it wasn't you who died, if you had lost your job be glad it isn't a kidney you are losing, if your dream partner breaks up with you see it as an opportunity to have a better person in your life. Every bad situation encountered has a positve side to it, all we have to do is look for it and you would definitely find it.
Most of the time we don't realise that we have the power to control our thoughts and the direction they take, whatever we think about our circumstance is what our emotions would reflect, When in a sad situation, if you think differently about how you feel you would feel better.
Another way to ensure a you have always have good thoughts that don't reflect the terrible situation you are in, is to banish people who their only job is to create sadness, some people are moving tragedies and they try to drag people into their world of sadness and grief. If you know such just fly far from them. The tenth law of The 48 laws of power states that we should avoid the sad and unlucky.
On a final note a blind man once gave some reasons why being blind is a good thing, the most profound reason he gave was "there's no race. I don't know from beauty. I know people from what comes from their mouths', and what's in their hearts'. In his situation he didn't look for a reason to hate the world or himself but he chose to focus on the positivity of his situation
"Imagine what the world would be if we just think good thoughts stop the bad the from feeding"Colbie Calliet



The Typical Lagos Conductor.



For the Jolly Just Come (JJC) to the beautiful city of Lagos who plan to commute on a daily basis with public transport commonly called Danfo or Molue, there are some basic things to know, one of such things is how to relate with your bus conductor. A bus conductor is the person who assists the bus driver in monetary contracts with the passengers and announcing of routes plied by the driver. The typical Lagos bus conductor is a young guy probably between the ages of 17 - 35. His uniform is
a shirt covered with grime and a small towel round his neck, tattered jeans to match and a pair of bathroom slippers. A conductor’s voice is usually the hoarsest and loudest in the park, found on the doors of the buses, reeling off their bus stops non-stop like a music player on replay. Now because of the state of dress and speech style of a Lagos bus conductor, some people mistake them for stupid, quick warning; if you to try to trick bus conductor by entering the bus with an incomplete fare, just trek so as not to lose a tooth in an unwanted battle.  They are also known for having a razor sharp mouth, so when it comes to the battle of the mouths put a zipper on yours. Don’t you dare try to pay a fare of N70 with of 1000, because a tirade of insults would follow with the change.
What confusesmost first timers in public transport is the type of language used by the typical Lagos bus conductor, especially if the passenger is not a Yoruba speaker; below is a table of the slangs and their meanings commonly used by the Conductor.
Oga mi ja ma loMy master move on.
M aa jemu e, wereyI will hit your vehicle, mad person.
Too ba ni change ma wole oIf you don’t have balance don’t enter.
Kuro lo noPlease leave the way.
Jade! Wole!Get out! Enter!
Iwo asewo, kuro loju ona!You prostitute, get out of the road.
FileLeave it.
Madam carry your pikin wellMadam, hold your child carefully.
Dis babe too dey bring wahalaThis lady has a lot of problem.
Oga mi te mole die die, awon Lastma waa ni wajuMy master slow down, there are LASTMA officials up front.
Oga mi, oni eru ni inu butuMy master, the passenger has some load in the boot.
Ogbeni kuro lo ju onaMr, get away from the road.
Gobe don happin There is trouble.
BaddooBad guy.
Fimile je kin jaiye miLeave me, let me enjoy my life.
Orobo woman, shift abegPlease fat woman adjust.
Gbemu eBehave well.
Ti nba gba eI will hit you.
Ikeja insyd! Alooong, joor  ma wole oIkeja inside,  Alooong, please don’t enter.
1st bus-stop unda bridgeUnder bridge is going to be my 1st bus-stop.
Enter with your twenty naira changiEnter with you twenty naira balance.
Egbeda straaaaatI’m going toward Egbeda only.
Wo moto wa legbe eWatch it! There is a vehicle beside you.
Ni bo ni o n loWhere are you heading to?
Emi o le ko statement in police stationI cannot write statement in a police station.
Olori nlaBig head.
Omoluabi ni eYou are a responsible person.
OsheyThanks.
Shey o n bole?Are you coming down?
Gba gbe O shiExcuse me, Fool.
KilogbeWhat are you carrying?
Ma for LoriI will slap you.
Kole Șe nko koYou can't do anything.
Ma fu eh gbajunI will give you a punch.
Ah Baba wagbaAh I hail you sir.
WagbaCome and collect.
Kilode egbonWhat is it brother?
EgbonBrother.
Master refers to the Bus Driver
Once you know these slangs and take necessary steps to avoid the boiling rage of these conductors, I promise that all your bus rides in the Centre of Excellence should be hitch free. If there are any slangs  omitted, please feel free to drop them in the comment section.

Ocheme Emmanuel Ocheme


To My Coy Mistresses


Of all the attributes of a woman, one of the most difficult to understand, and there are a lot of things I don't understand about us female folk, is our coyness. Oh God! Do we have to be soo damn coy? I sometimes feel sad for the guys that suffer from the coyness but it's part of the total package called The Woman.
What is coyness? Coyness can be said to mean the act of pretending or acting shy to get peoples' interest. In lay man terms it simply means "shakara". There are two types of coyness,
the I-want-to-eat-my-cake-and-have-it coyness, which is having a backup plan and a relationship. Perfect example; a fair lady I know was having a conversation with her "friend". Now this "friend" has been on her case for a long time and at the same time a boyfriend is in the picture. The boyfriend she "likes" and the friend she loves but doesn't "trust" so instead of having a normal relationship with this dude they have a "thing", this thing allows her to have a boyfriend but the friend can't date any other girl. In my opinion I don't think it fair on the friend and boyfriend cos you are wasting both of them's time, but indecisiveness won't let her pick one.
The second type of coyness is the Let me-think-about-it coyness. I hate to say this but YOLO really does apply to humans, our mortality is soo short you can't afford to waste time, with answers like "let me think about it" or "you will have your answer tomorrow". If you know you are going to give that answer don't even try to encourage him, in that area. Now I’m fully aware of the decency and not seeming cheap thingy, but prolonging the matter doesn't work he will just move on. News flash they can't read minds and if you hesitate, he will lose interest and find the next one whose tomorrow isn't three weeks long.
Therefore; today I beg of girls and ask that if you fall in category one; pick one of the dudes and don't cause a repeat of Helen of Troy, or category two just say yes if you really want him or no if you can't get past the friend zone.

"Had we but world enough, and time" This coyness, lady, were no crime. Andrew Marvell.

@nkemoyaghire


A Bleak Future


I was talking to the boy I love the most and we had this argument on what the future will be like especially that of this generation and the argument was based on whether or not the future will be good. He spoke vehemently for the great future we are going to have and I couldn’t help laughing, trust me I picked the true side, which we can all see and it is the fact, that this generation if care is not  taken will be worse than its predecessors.
Forgive me for not trying to see the good in people and the World, and all that blah blah nonsense, but if we look at the different actions of the young people of this time we can see a pattern heading to a deteriorating state. Let me give a beautiful example, I met this dude, we exchange numbers and get talking, the topic of the best state in Nigeria comes up; I say Lagos and he says Port Harcourt. Now this guy lives in Lagos, then guy why do you think Port Harcourt is better than Lagos, cos Lagos is wayyyy better that PH.
You won't believe the reason for that statement. He says cos kidnappers are making it in Port Harcourt. I was astounded. Of all reasons under the sun, your dumb brain only picked that. Wow!!! You already have a plan, no sorry your wonderful parents have the plan to make your life better by spending so much money to pay for a good education but no, you chose to waste it by even thinking up such an absurd idea. How many kidnapping jobs do you want to do before you finally retire?
Tell me again why this generation is going to be better or even how, cos I need a huge proof. I'm sorry to proclaim loud that we are headed for doom. But it is the truth. Another beautiful example; People are lining up at a bus stop and then from nowhere a bunch of hoodlums come and disrupt the line that was beautifully long, why don't you carry your good for nothing asses to the back of the line and start form where the people in front started from, then they open their filthy mouths and say the government is terrible. How won't it be? When people like the youths of this generation are the ones controlling power.
These days we have young adults whose aims are to get at least 10 followers on Twitter per week, and a hundred likes on Instagram, it’s good to be ambitious, but with your creative ability to edit pictures you can’t boast of something worthwhile you have done under a week. I always hated this slogan “we are the leaders of tomorrow” but like play play we really are the leaders of tomorrow. To be sincere; with the way we are going I don’t see how different or even better we are going to be from  the people there.
Colour me pessimistic but baby, open your eyes and see what I see, I don't need to smoke a kilo of weed to see the imminent future or the truth; this generation is not ready for the future. The youths of this generation please don't break his heart and try your hardest to prove me wrong.
@nkemoyaghire
Please kindly drop your comments.


New year Resolutions

Happy New Year! It is that time of the year once again when we all make our promises to ourselves and write it all down and all that hullabaloo that comes with the New Year. When I was much younger and I saw people on T.V reeling out their New Year resolutions I always felt envious of these people cos they have a plan of how they want their year to be, but as I grew older envy changed to pity.
I don't get why you people would make a resolution like, I plan to quit drinking and in your subconscious you are already counting the number of drinks you are going to have that afternoon and the next and the next, till the end of that very same year or I plan to earn more money this year and no plan is in your head to get a new job or even a promotion.
I’m not against people making plans on how they want their immediate futures to be, but why disappoint the universe, the paper you wrote on and yourself. One thing we haven’t noticed is that when we make these promises and we can’t fulfill them, at the end of the year we feel under-achieved and inadequate; that’s when we see some people come December trying to do everything possible to travel to the village and prove to themselves that they have achieved something when they haven’t even started the journey to achievement.
To me, making a list of your New Year resolutions is like promising a child to take them to study outside the country. That child will never forget the promise, but you that made it in a spur of the moment has no memory whatsoever of that promise. The saying that goes “if you fail to plan you have planned to fail” doesn’t always work, if you know you don’t have the willpower to keep big promises, then don’t make any. It’s not a bad thing or even a sin to not make plans. Why don’t you try something this year make really simple and easy to do resolutions. Take them step by step just start with really small plans and even if at the end of the year you haven’t achieved you goal but you are getting closer to your promise; carry it over, and don’t feel that stupid need to add more.
@nkemoyaghire
Please kindly drop your comments. Thank you.

Read a book!!!

"Nkem, na you oh" said my friend Ada when she saw me reading a novel not in our list of novels to read. It is usually astounding when people say that and more astounding it is when spoken by English students. All my life the idea I have always had about English students is people who love to read, they read voraciously like they don't have enough time to read all the books available, but not the ones I know. Sometimes when in a gathering with my classmates and I want to ask someone a question about a book I just read or I'm reading. I freeze and shake my head cos I could bet my very last Naira, not one of them would even know what the back of the book looks like or who the author is. One day a member of my class saw me reading Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Adichie and asked me if it was "Half of a Yellow Sun and other stories" cos she could not phantom how a person could read a book that large containing only one story.
Then it is more embarrassing when a lecturer comes to class and asks who has read this book and all around its just blank faces. My first question "why don't they like books?" Is it psychological or just pathological laziness? When you pick any book to read you are not just travelling far far away into the world of the book, you are learning new things, strangely getting more experiences and the best part; it is way cheaper than going to the movies and much more interesting. My mother says, "If an author writes a book on a thirty year experience, a person that read it in one week would have learnt what it took another person thirty years"
Soji
Now this strange phenomena of people not liking to read is not only in the persona of English students but in the every 10 people 8 don't read. It is only a foolish, shallow person that says I don't like reading. Then how the fuck do you learn!!!! Half of the things you are taught in school is not enough for you to go ahead in life, books tell you about the experiences you never want to really have, they open and broaden the mind-set of an individual. Then some people would wonder why the promotion that is due didn't come through or when the company was downsizing they were cut off, maybe if you read more you would have grown more intelligible.
Now note the reading am talking about is not your notes that are given in class (read those to pass exams not life trails) and not books like Harlequin or Silhouette, I have read those they, lack content and are full of teachings on how to have sex, read books that will teach you satire, lifestyles of the Red-Indians, the history of Herbert Macaulay, and things people think are irrelevant, just read such things and when you speak, people will look at you in awe and wonder what school you went to. They wouldn't know you studied in a book.
The year is coming to an end why don't you pick a book any book and just read. Please join in the movement against the vast amount of stupidity in the world. Just read.

@nkemoyaghire




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