Tuesday 12 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 22: G-Wagons.

Sunday I woke up bright and early. Read a little bit and it wasn’t my bible; it was the novel I have been reading. After much speculation I choose to wear a skirt and a cotton top to church. I still had to pick which skirt between two skirts. (the problem with having too many clothes)

I played around and just did the stuff that is regular with me (it is usually nothing absolutely spectacular). In the lodge we have this rule where we go to the church in the lodge compound on the third Sundays of the month and a Cathedral on the Second Sunday of the month, well this week we switched. So we had to go to the church in the lodge compound; Chapel of Ascension. Okay, the thing is that while I was getting ready I just wanted to use powder and go out. But no I just couldn’t stop myself after I wore my contacts and I went full out I did all the works except contouring and highlighting, honestly for the life of me I couldn’t be bothered to learn all those makeup procedures. So while Cynthia one of my roommates and I were taking pictures, we had coincidentally worn the same style of clothes, which was a black blouse thingamajig and a maxi skirt, mine was an uneven one. Anywho, we sha looked alike. When we were done with our pictures and about to storm the Chapel of Ascension, we saw Hot Stuff with some other guys; E-joe whose real name is Joseph but we have an overpopulation of Josephs in the lodge, Segun who is really huge and some other guys. So we ran after them and followed them to their church.

And I have to say it was gooood. I absolutely enjoyed the service. Unlike the churches I have been attending, it had the Pentecostal flavor I grew up on and am used to. I don’t know, I was just really happy to be at that church. After the service we were given drinks as first time comers and this made me extra happy. The thing is that I have an addiction for sugar (don’t come here with that diabetes nonsense I have heard it all and just go away with all your negativity.) I had my fix after a long long dry spell. As we left the church, Cynthia and I felt the need to take more pictures, so we rallied these young men around us and tried to take some pictures. Well they were really nice; in one of them we looked like the Avengers. Something awkward happened while we were taking one of the pictures, there was a moment between Hot stuff and I. At this point I will stop because I don’t want to go into details before I will make you people think something else (from reports I have been getting from headquarters it would seem you guys have a more vivid imagination than I do)
After the photograph session we headed back to lodge and on our trek back we saw an absolute beauty parked right in front of Shoprite. It was a black G-Wagon. It was beautiful and the fact that it was black just made me love that particular G-Wagon; it looked like it didn’t belong on the streets of Ilorin. I don’t like the structure of that car, I won’t go to a car shop and buy it even if I had the money to buy it, but that does not take away the fact that it is ridiculously expensive and whoever bought that car has too much money. ‘Plenty’ is not the adjective I will use the phrase ‘too much’ fits this situation perfectly. I was almost tempted to walk across the street and beg the man in the car to take my number, desperate times call for almost desperate measures and since the government has decided to let Corpers across the federation starve, a girl has almost no choice but to almost take extreme measures. It doesn’t even matter if the model of the car was the oldest model (and I wouldn’t know if it was. My knowledge of cars is not that detailed).

I got back to the lodge without going to offer myself to the owner of that fine motor. Had lunch and a date with my oga’s wife; sleep we are getting tighter by the day. When I arose I participated in the Ludo Games, I can’t particularly remember the scores but I didn’t do too badly.

Regarding the decision that has been dancing in my head, I have decided to cut ties with someone that is my friend but I want to be more than friends with him and I can’t have him. It is no other person than Churchill and the drama surrounding him is way too much for adulthood it is straight out of Secondary school and I do not exaggerate.

Sunday was almost bad for me because I heard the shit that someone said about me (sorry for the profanity and more profanity may come up) but this bitch thinks I give two hoots about her; I don’t even give half a hoot. Well that’s her business and for her safety I won’t mention her name.

I went to bed content only to wake up to a surprise.   

Nkem Oyaghire

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