Saturday 17 December 2016

Love in Traffic





There was a collision of eyes;
Within the traffic of third mainland bridge.
In the festering heat and the clap of a fan with hot air.
Amidst the silent wails of weary people mixed with
Loud complaints of buttocks tucked for too long.

Wednesday 16 November 2016

Anger



She's a little bit drunk
Buzzed; no tipsy.
In a pool of despair she sits
Singing to herself.
Rocking back and forth.

Thursday 10 November 2016

Beauty Queen



She struts those streets
Like the queen she is.
But in her face is a fear.
Her smile of a mask
Is too big to see the fury.
Her anger.
Of that she knows of.

Saturday 5 November 2016

Denial



You wake up with a start;
Cold sweat and quick gasps.
No it can't be and you remember his smile.
Feel his breath on your skin,

Friday 16 September 2016

After this Ball


We are at a ball,
But I can't find you.
In the crowd of faces
You have faded.

Tuesday 13 September 2016

Liar Liar


Liar liar

Honey lips
Serenading you in their sweetness.
Lies masked in the nectar of my mouth.
Sickening in taste
And intoxicating with a hint of lust

Monday 29 August 2016

Guilty Pleasure



The devil is before me
With his lies
Dangling the fruit, I dare not
Taste or dream of.
With his sweet voice and
Smile of poison

Sunday 21 August 2016

Temptation



I am slipping;
Falling with no obstacles.
The temptations of things
I need not.

Monday 25 July 2016

Alone




He asked;
“Are you alone?”
In that moment her mind raced
Through the corridors of her life.
Which were devoid of people
Or anything in fact.

Thursday 21 July 2016

When His Night Comes




His fist hit the table once more.
And I shivered, not this again!
The cold would have been a better enemy
Not my sweet sweet baby.

Monday 18 July 2016

Burnt Bridges


Maybe best friends;
Short, fair and brown haired.
Pretty little thing that all the boys liked
With a strange laugh and bad breath.
The burning of a green checkered uniform
And the lighting of a candle.
Began our fire.

Friday 24 June 2016

The Other Woman



I am she
The reason for your tears
The cause of your headaches
I am she
I keep him warm-in
Your absence
Is my presence

Friday 17 June 2016

Age Steps




The steps of growth
Line up before me.
I am not far from the bottom.
Neither am I afraid of  heights 
But these steps make me dizzy.
I just scaled through some fears
And I am still breathless.
The climb stretches further than my eyes
Or mind can see.

Monday 13 June 2016

Hopelessly Hopeful



I am hopelessly hopeful

A hapless daydreamer
A believer of things that may not be
Christians call this faith
I am one and I know I am too fearful to have it.

Saturday 4 June 2016

Opposites Attract




We are polar opposites
You are brave as a lion
I am timid as a sheep.
You can devour me in one look
And in your gaze I melt like chocolate.

Sunday 22 May 2016

Mirror Mirror


I am before a mirror

Smiling back at me is a grown woman
But she has the smile of a five year old,
The mindset of a twelve year old
And maybe the heart of an eight year old.

Friday 20 May 2016

Naked


Let's get naked.
I will show you mine and you show me yours

Strip myself to the bones and you will see
All the flaws and problems of my being.

Thursday 5 May 2016

The Service Chronicles 41: Okro Soup



It was Ola I called, I have mentioned him before but I didn’t tell us the depth of our relationship. He is just not a friend and at this point I warn that if any of you should attempt to see me in any other way than I really am; which is an angel who knows no evil but enjoys experimenting, I would bring out my pot from under my bed (it is even getting dusty). Don’t ever get that image out of your minds until I tell you so. 

The Service Chronicles 40: Social Menace



I think in this life there should be a written decree that once you and an Ex go separate ways any form of relations should just follow both of you on your separate ways. That may have been possible eon years ago. Devices for instant communication would have been limited to a few powerful people like witches and magical beings. But now we have contraptions like phones and social media. 

The Service Chronicles 39: Workers' Day




You know when you are making a mistake and you just can’t help it, you are enjoying your sin (sin is too strong a word). You are sha just falling in and into the sticky mess of nonsense you are doing. I found myself in such a situation on Monday morning. Lanky was ringing the bell and I saw myself rise form my sleep, but I really didn’t stand up. I honestly couldn’t. The sleep had tied me down, it was when he rang the second bell I stood up. 

The Service Chronicles 38: No Coal



I know I know I know, I shouldn’t be missing church so often but I swear this last time was no fault of mine. This is the third time in an elongating row I didn’t go to church again. The cooking rooster was changed and Jennifer made sure I am not partners with Gbade or any of his friends. 

Sunday 1 May 2016

The Service Chronicles 37: The Next Cut





I woke up by seven on Saturday like I had told that doubting Thomas Jennifer girl. Set myself to my hair and loosened it in less than two hours. I have to say my hair is not growing longer but bigger. Koch and Ify (my latest crush, he will kill for this. I love you honey) have started calling Huey from Boondocks (unnecessary exaggeration). I don’t even know what the niggas hair looks like. 

The Service Chronicles 36: Longest Friday





When I woke up on Friday morning I was still seething from what Gbade had said the previous evening. Like immediately I got back in I had to tell Yemi my lover. I was really embarrassed by what he said. 

The Service Chronicles 35: No Zonal Meeting




Thursdays are the worst days of the week for me. I guess it is because nothing ever really happens. It’s my free day at school so I don’t get to go anywhere. Although; last term I had evening lessons on Thursday but that was all. 

Thursday 28 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 34: Ford Explorer




Wednesday dawned with darkness, there was no light and I had to do some things with electricity. This week so far has been a horrid affair of timelessness; like I need more than twenty four hours. We had devotion and gave the people travelling to camp our final words to them. 

Wednesday 27 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 33: Pre-Fishing




Tuesday I woke up early had my bath and arranged myself for school, I even polished my shoes. It was all methodical. When it was time I rang the bell and we all went for morning devotion after that Papa had a meeting with the Batch B executives which I am one of, after he dismissed us he retained my partner and I, by the time he was through I had to rush to get ready for school. I had an 8 AM class and I wasn’t even ready for it. 

The Service Chronicles 32: Egusi Soup




This Sunday is the second Sunday in a row that I didn’t go to church, God forgive me. After dilly dallying and having a beautiful long nap I washed my clothes and had my bath had a meeting with Koch and I made him frustrated because I was hungry (it’s good for him)

Sunday 24 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 31: One Day and A Weekend




I am tired of skipping days in my chronicles but this used to be so much fun, but I really don’t know. Maybe I am losing the ginger. I shouldn’t lose ginger that would just be bad. Don’t mind me joor. I am being a little bit silly. 

Thursday 21 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 30: Puppy Faces.





Wednesday came and I woke up early enough to brush my teeth and put on some clothes. Then I woke everybody up, the usual people dragged their feet but I was nursing my anger from the previous night so I just played games while they did their business. I honestly could not be bothered. 

The Service Chronicles 29: Traditional Cooking and Snapchat Filters.




I rose up as Lanky; Jennifer’s boyfriend rang the bell. First of all his real name is Noah, he is called Lanky because of his size and he is the Male Organizing secretary (OS), I am the female OS.  I quickly stood up and looked at my time it was 5:44. I was supposed to have started the fire by five and even be boiling water but no I had overslept. 

Monday 18 April 2016

The Service Chronicle 28: The Day After




He was tackling me for not inviting him to the hangout; apparently he heard the gist that we overfed people. You may wonder how he found out. Well his girlfriend came for the hangout I even said hello and did the entire hullabaloo you are supposed to do when you see someone you kinda know.

Sunday 17 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 27: One Anniversary and a Send Forth.




Saturday was another day of too much work, I woke up late let’s just say I was too tired. So I dragged myself around as usual and ended up in the kitchen. I just knew something was wrong as I sat down. Found my food and ate a little, offered to help with chopping some things for the salad. It was when I offered to help with the carrots that some light was shed on the odd feeling I felt earlier. My help was refused and I was urged to go get ready for the anniversary program. 

The Service Chronicles 26: One Hangout and An Anniversary




There is no word to describe Thursday. It was a roller coaster of activities. The day didn’t even start like any normal day. I didn’t go for devotion because my eye was still hurting and I couldn’t open it, so I spent more time in bed. Only to be awaken by the voice of Nnamdi yelling my name. He said he wanted my crested vest so I stood up to give it to him. Thursday was the day the Batch A corp members of 2015/2016 set passed out. So everywhere was abuzz with activity. They all stomped out in their Khakis rather late as usual to converge at the NYSC secretariat in GRA llorin. 

Friday 15 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 25: Mango Missile.




Yesterday; Wednesday was full of activity for me. It started with the normal preparation of breakfast of rice and stew for about forty one people. I even finished on time but laziness did not permit me to leave for CDS. Like he sat me down, that is Laziness and whispered reasons why I should not go, they were not valid but I love him so much like I just had to agree with him, especially as I have been ignoring him for too long.

The Service Chronicles 24: Allawee

Tuesday was a breeze. It started the way all my days here start which is with Devotion and then playing around but as God would have it there was light so I just went back to bed and watched a movie; Interstellar. Five minutes into the movie I had to find someone who would explain the dynamics of space to me, so I kidnapped Churchill and he tried a little but Namnam was so much more helpful. After I had walked around with Churchill for my lesson I sank back again to bed for more lessons. 

Tuesday 12 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 23: The Dawn of the Snakes.


Monday was a day of promise. I had gotten a reply from Fat Cat and I had an appointment with his Madam at Ray Power, any time from 11 pm (do I hear a whoop whoop).
I trudged to the church, I had had an almost long night, slept around after 12 and I still wanted to sleep but the call to prayer was by 5:45AM and I had no choice to go to church. After a very educative session at devotion I went back to bed only to be awoken by Nam nam; asking for a cutlass. And because amebo is my biggest hobby I asked him what it was for; it’s a pity I can’t put that in my CV. My amebo skills are one in a million I could be a mighty spy, like the CIA needs to employ me. Anyhow sha, after I asked what the cutlass was for, he mentioned to kill a snake. At first I thought this man was joking only for me to let my amebo lead me by hand outside and see Nnamdi or as Koch calls him Unamdi balancing a snake on the cutlass.

The Service Chronicles 22: G-Wagons.

Sunday I woke up bright and early. Read a little bit and it wasn’t my bible; it was the novel I have been reading. After much speculation I choose to wear a skirt and a cotton top to church. I still had to pick which skirt between two skirts. (the problem with having too many clothes)

The Service Chronicles 21: Ray Power

I have to say that the weekend had a beautiful start. After devotion I just hung around reading and terrorizing the people plucking mangoes. There are like ten mango trees in the compound so we have a steady steady supply of mangos. After mango hunting and eating. I went to the shade of a tank and had a mini argument on the state of the country and I have to say this is the first verbal argument I have had on the deteriorating state of the nation this year. And like all the other arguments that have been going on everywhere in the country and in the country’s diaspora it has not reduced the price of fuel or the queues at the filling stations.

Saturday 9 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 20: Tolerance




Friday I woke up with nerves, I was taking the message for the day and I honestly have to say I was nervous as hell. I rang the bell for devotion and roused everybody from their slumber. Waited for everybody to leave for devotion, this is another one of my plenty duties. As I got to church it was already six am, so I just had to wait till 6:05 before I went up, as I walked up to the pulpit I almost wanted to run back. I was really frightened, how can smallie me be teaching all these people. If you even hear the topic I was going to speak on you will just laugh at me. I was to speak on Tolerance. If you know me you would laugh really hard before you continue reading, when I told Mama Nkem she laughed at me and said “me that needs tolerance the most”.

Friday 8 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 19: One and a Half Days




Wednesday was CDS and it was nothing spectacular. I arose early and cooked, to my dismay Nimi, the welfare militant (she is really a militant I lie not) had not changed the cooking timetable. Finished on time and left early for CDS with Koch. By the time we got there; which was not ridiculously late considering the distance from the lodge to the Local Government office where we have our CDS meetings and the fuel scarcity that is ravaging the country, the LGI (Local Government Inspector) had marked cards and the punishment was to wait till four in the evening from Wednesday to Friday before we late comers got to sign our cards and do our clearance. Oh well.  

Wednesday 6 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 18: Movies!!!


Tuesday was a Tuesday indeed (this has no deep meaning at all. Don’t try to decipher it.) There was light for the better part of the day and I was in front of my laptop for a pretty long time. Watched Hit man Agent 47 very very cool movie, I had had it for a very very long time and because I am skeptical about movies that are not obviously comedy or romance (yes , yes I prefer chick flicks, how is it your concern) I would take forever before watching them. 

Tuesday 5 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 17: Ilorin




Well I got back to the beautiful town of Ilorin yesterday. The land with all my boyfriends, my baby boos and the pests that riddle my life. Ilorin my new home, Ilorin my life for a year. I would stop at this point before I start to show myself as a poet. I left Lagos state few minutes to seven and got into Ilorin few minutes to eleven. The journey was not particularly exciting I mostly slept throughout the journey like usual. The guy that sat beside me took my number, if he’s too old he is 19, no biggie there he can be my new son. The old lady that sat behind me was very talkative. Well it didn’t really bother me because my ears were mostly plugged even while I slept. 

The Service Chronicles 16: My Junkies.


The country has gone back in time to a period before electricity hence there was no water Papa Nkem turned on the generator to pump water and since we live on the second floor we had to wait for the water to get to the top before we could fetch and store water. 


Since I had to give my grandmother food and her medication I waited behind and went late to church. Oh by the way my grandmother is much better, she does this thing where she takes out her clothes and rearranges them she hasn’t done that since she my dad brought her from the village. Yesterday she did sure sign that she is much better.

I cooked the only food Nigerians love best; rice and made a salad, proceeded to get dressed for church. After struggling to get into my dress, the zip spoilt. I was immensely mad; I raced back upstairs and changed into another dress. 

Sunday 3 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 15: Big Hair and Ten Matches.




I made my hair. Braids. I pray they last. You see my hair is stubborn and since I have decided to not "disvirgin" it (apply relaxer to it) I will suffer the consequences that come with having natural hair. It is usually fine on its own. 

I took sometime before going to the hairdressers. You see in the middle of the night something biological happened and I was in a lot of pain, so much pain that I actually cried. They were purely abdominal pains. The next morning while I was in the kitchen slicing some fruit (we have those every morning) my father came and prayed for me. Some pretty deep prayers. He had most likely heard me crying at night while he had his night prayers and I am sure he was worried that I had been battling some night terrors. I can’t blame him seeing as I am a perfect child and also a little bit of a daddy’s girl. Don’t be jealous. 

Friday 1 April 2016

The Service Chronicles 14: Two Days


I am honestly tired of staying at home and I am also loving the holiday. For almost three days I have not seen the staircase to my house. This just affirms my lack of motivation to get off my butt. I have to say although I haven’t left my house I have lost some weight, like I have said or somehow implied I am currently serving some slave time. My very very very funny mother, I think I need to add one more very. Told me to stay a few more days at home, I thought it was for something really sweet and nice, when I asked her she said so that I can help her some more. 


Chai! This is my life my people. But as we all know, we perfect children do not thrive well with disobedience and honestly I don’t think I’m ready to rush into the cramped lifestyle I live at the lodge.  

Wednesday 30 March 2016

The Service Chronicles 13: Mama Nkem




You know how the daily routine of my life at home goes. I honestly thank God for Youth Service. My days at home just drag on. I do the same bloody routine everyday. I got to Lagos and none of my beloved friends that I left here felt it was okay to come and check on me or invite me to any of their turn ups. (I can whine all I want!). In the words of maybe the most popular and very weird first ladies we have had in this country “there is God o!”

Let me tell you what this yeye NEPA (PHCN will never sound or look right to me) people did to me yesterday. Just as I settled down in a couch which is the second greatest furniture in the entire world after a bed I browsed through stations for a movie I could watch and I stumbled on one I have wanted to watch for a while. The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants as a matter of fact they were showing part one and two, the day was beginning to look beautiful. About thirty minutes into the first one those oloriburuku people took the light.

Argh!!!!!!! I wanted the break something that while affect NEPA, sadly they don’t have any property in my house. I will destroy something on purpose the day I will mistakenly go their office. After I had given up hope of seeing the movie those palm wine tappers brought back the light and after fifteen minutes of learning absolutely nothing in the movie, they took it again! These people really lack respect.  

I spent the rest of the day in heat and frustration if not for the amazing novel I am currently reading I may have been forced to do something I would regret, idle hands and the devil’s workshop thingamajig (real word)

My brother had friends over and they did that stupid thing people do when you ask them who is it when they ring the doorbell or knock. I hate when I ask who is it and the person has the nerve to reply “it is me”. Which of the stupid 'mes' in the world is it? I sent them back to go and ring the bell and answer me properly.

Funny story my Pastor also came around yesterday to pray for the grandmother and you won’t believe it. When I asked “who is it?” he replied “it is me”. I thank God for the spirit of Jesus in me, my darling beloved heavenly father and friend just told me not to yell because I honestly did not know who it was at the door and I am not a sound recognition computer. The shock I felt when I opened the door and saw my Pastor standing there. I was so grateful I didn’t yell “is me your name?” (I also do that sometimes)

In the midst of heat and turmoil my grandmother requested for hot water to have her bath; I will never understand how that will help to reduce the heat she was feeling. So David, my youngest brother decided to call my dad and ask if we could put on the gen. He was just being selfish because he wanted to play FIFA with his friends that are named me (mumu children) as he picked up the phone to call our darling farmers at NEPA brought the light. Hooray I ran to an AC and flicked it one. After about thirty minutes Mama Nkem called for David to bring her bags up from the car. 

I think it is time you met Mama Nkem, she is the person that birthed me and like most people and their mothers she has a great influence in my life and all that. Some people have said that if you have seen me then you have seen her, I don’t know how true this is because she’s older than me with like a gazillion years and this is not Jupiter Ascending (weird movie if you ask me).
Anywho that’s who my mother is, I am not giving any more information about her, there are psychos everywhere and the Internet is where they harvest their victims. With that said I am done about Mama Nkem.

So she came in brandishing a Ziploc bag of money, it was full of change I even thought it was offering from somewhere (she’s a Pastor). Lo and behold my mother told us of how a Keke Driver had damaged something on her car and he spoke rudely to her. So she disembarked from her vehicle and told the man that the cost of the repairs was about 5 grand and the man said he would use super glue to glue it. I trust Mama Nkem, she just said he should not worry that she knows where he keeps his money and she went there and scooped it all up. Hence all the change; I laughed so hard when she told me. Well she’s a typical Edo babe.

I almost did not watch Ant Man with my family because of my slavery duties while they all lounged and watched a movie I set reminder for o, I was running around like the mad hatter dishing food here and there. God help me.  After Ant Man, Mama Nkem took it to her beloved Investigation Discovery (it used to be Food Network) thankfully they were showing something we watched on Sunday but that didn’t deter her, she went to Crime Investigation, luckily for me they were showing something hilarious; My Crazy EX.

As I laughed my heart away my phone rang. 

Nkem Oyaghire

Tuesday 29 March 2016

The Service Chronicles 12: Seize the Bae?


Yesterday was a day like any other, mildly depressing and quietly annoying. That happens to me a lot especially when I am at home. So let’s see, as we have all noticed I am a perfect child who wakes up rather grudgingly between 6:45 AM and 7:00 AM, does some meager chores and is left to the hand of slavery. The cleaning lady came around yesterday and she did what she needed to do. Now; Mama Nkem has adopted this system of coming to where I sleep every morning, to squeeze my legs and tell me she’s going jogging or running; whatever the activity is called. What I really don’t understand is why she feels the need to squeeze my legs, maybe some strange character told her that is how you rouse lazy people from their slumber. I’m proud to say that it hasn’t worked. It may seem strange that I am celebrating not following my mother to jog. 

The Man I Know.




I know a boy
Who is not perfect,
For perfection is a notion nobody will ever attain.
Might love him,I would say I can love him
Maybe love him.

Monday 28 March 2016

The Service Chronicles 11: Easter Sunday




Funny story, I noticed that my time on my phone has been exactly an hour fast. When I realized this I was really mad. I had woken up by 5: 55 AM which was actually 4:55 AM to slice some onions and wash the rice for the Easter fried rice we were supposed to cook. Only for me to look at the clock and see something that did not seem right. I rushed to my phone and set things straight and went back to sleep.

Sunday 27 March 2016

The Service Chronicles 10: Ordinary Saturday


Yes he did call after a week and all that. I was a little bit happy. Okay I just lied, I did a full spilt and like ten somersaults. More lies. I was just happy.
 My darling mother woke me up by six am on a weekend! To make matters worse. She asked me to pick and cook beans. Since I am the epitome of the perfect child, I really am; I obeyed her.  
The perfect child doesn’t get in too much trouble just enough trouble that can be easily forgiven. The perfect child can sometimes be a kiss ass (don’t do it all the time), the prefect child is the joy of their parents. All of you black sheep should better change your ways. Since I am perfect child I fall into this very small bracket. So I woke up early and obliged my mother; I started picking the beans as she went for a run. 

Saturday 26 March 2016

The Service Chronicles 9: Good Friday



Yesterday was Good Friday. It was not so bad. I went to hospital to stay with my grandmother who has been discharged by the way. When I left my house I wouldn’t have thought that I would be scouring the streets in earnest search for Akara. I had to buy some for my grandmother to eat with her Pap. Like really! It is Akara and I walked up and down the whole of Godmon Street; my street in search for something I always take as immensely trivial. 


Called Mama Nkem that I didn’t see any Akara o, she advised me to just go to the hospital and buy Moimoi at a restaurant near the hospital only for me to take a bike to Isolo and see Akara on my way but the bike was going too fast. At Isolo I still said I should look for Akara at least there’s a market in the vicinity I must see Akara. To my beautiful surprise still no Akara!