I know I know I know, I shouldn’t be missing church so often
but I swear this last time was no fault of mine. This is the third time in an
elongating row I didn’t go to church again. The cooking rooster was changed and
Jennifer made sure I am not partners with Gbade or any of his friends.
Let me explain this; when a person is on duty in the kitchen it is not uncommon or unfounded for his or her friend or friends to just sit and rally around or even help in the kitchen. Now if one of Gbade’s friends is my cooking partner, it would be expected of him to be in the kitchen and since I am trying to avoid any form of contact with him, so he won’t mistake my good morning for please be the father of my babies. I want the minimalist form of contact with either him or any of his friends. For now.
Well Jennifer made sure her boyfriend, Prof Lanky is my
cooking partner on the two occasions I will be cooking so that there won’t be
any misconceptions about the nature of our relationship, which happens to be
purely platonic.
Back to my reason for no church yesterday, on the new rooster
I am to cook on Sunday mornings and erm Wednesday evenings. Although I had to
switch with someone for the Wednesday evening because they had done that back
to back cooking mistake again.
It was supposed to be rice and stew but there was no coal,
hence it took me hours to boil water for the rice. Just water o. In the end I
cooked a meal of approximately one hour thirty minutes for more than four hours
(no exaggeration). This was because there was no coal. While we; that is
Jennifer and I waited we chatted with some people. There is this thing people
have been saying about my physical appearance that is bothering me a lot, I
kinda like it but I don’t know why it is so obvious. Apparently some parts of
my body have grown bigger, that is where I will stop no further explanations.
One of the guys we chatted with; Chima (Nnamdi calls him a
Sharia barrister) said I looked stressed and suggested I have some sex to
relieve myself. I really don’t understand what kind of advice that is and that
yeye, oniranu Jennifer girl concurred. This guy could have suggested a massage
but no he had to suggest sex. Well I don’t know if I will take that advice or
not.
After my four hour meal I was exhausted. I am honestly not
made for such ridiculously hard work. Like I will not even argue about me being
butty here but ah… I have no words.
When I was done cooking I just lay in bed and took a very hot
picture, there is something about looking exhausted that I think is hot (don’t
ask me what it is)
Kidnapper called saying he wanted to see me, but I couldn’t
see him, looking like I had just gone through labour (that meal was like
labour, sorry not like. It was labour). Told him I was sorry and promised to
see him later. Nope I wasn’t going to. Hehehe
I didn’t even know when I crashed but when I awoke I felt
slightly rejuvenated. Had my meal and crashed back. A girl needed two tonnes of
beauty sleep. I had mistakenly not put stew in Nnamdi’s rice. I felt so bad
about it.
I awoke couple of hours later and
dragged my smelly self to have a bath which was so refreshing. With that out of
the way I settled to my Dark Angel. This
series is da bomb but it is also a huge distraction. I have not read anything
this weekend; all I have been doing is to watch Dark Angel. That is how I will get to class on Tuesday (Monday is a
public holiday) and be stammering like a mumu. And I am not a mumu o (if any of
you should contest that I will put you to shame in the most embarrassing way.
(Very straight face))
Well my fear of
embarrassing myself before a bunch of teenage girls has never stopped me from
being a lazy person. In fact nothing has ever really succeeded in not making me
lazy.
I have that super
ability to just ignore things I have to do until they become things of a very
distant past.
I watched plenty Dark Angel and wrote a little. For a
writer I don’t write a lot (that makes no sense, take it like that)
I chatted with an
old friend; Irene, super-duper cool girl, she’s the kinda person I would have
no qualms renting a flat with. We talked about radio gigs and stuff, she showed
me my first ever blog post, which was on her blog. Cool cool stuff.
I went to get
some garri that we finished under thirty minutes.
You know what
more I did, just a little idea it involved me watching something that starts
with a D, went for night devotion and got back to you know what. I don’t need
to repeat the title over and over again.
O, before I
forget. Boye is fine, very fine in fact. We’ve been talking a lot and his babe
is out of town maybe it is time I swooped in to conquer.
Nkem Oyaghire
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