After this Ball

We are at a ball,

But I can't find you.

In the crowd of faces

You have faded.

Still standing- still,

Patiently, maybe foolishly 

Waiting. 

I search deeply for you.

Unwilling to move

Waiting earnestly

For you to appear.

Surrounded by the swish

Of love.

I long for you,

But you are missing.

The crowd and your face are one.

Every five minutes I feel you.

Lightly kissing

Uttering apologies for abandonment

Explaining the pull of your soul

To dark places.

But I need my fix;

You.

Take me

To where light dare not shine

I will illuminate it with my smile.

Drag me along

To where you're needed most.

The ball is drawing to an end.

Your face is fading from memory;

Exhaustion from your absence

With feet that feel like needles

Mixed with the knowledge

That forever gone you are-

Testing a virtue I lack;

Patience.

I am failing and flailing

Hoping you grab me.

Leaning into the shoulder

Of jumbo ears

Telling him my pain

And let him sooth me.

Soak him with tears

And enjoy his availability.

Salsa with my dainty feet, 

Waltz all I can,

Tango till the break of dawn.

When this ball ends,

A shoulder to cry on

Is the shoulder I wake up to.

Nkem Oyaghire