Denial

You wake up with a start;

Cold sweat and quick gasps.

No it can't be and you remember his smile.

Feel his breath on your skin,

Giggle from memory

You close your eyes to see his face.

Shiver from the anticipation of what comes next.

Your dream as reality.

Quivering from fear and desire holds you bound.

Fantasy cracks like the beginning of an earthquake.

The break of your reverie;

Your mind forces herself into sense.

Reason kidnaps you

With each breath of his on your skin.

It dawns as early as six am.

Creeping on you as a rapist

Pouncing in that moment of weakness at 3AM.

He is gone.

As your mind drifts back to the nightmare slumber party.

You smile as

Denial beckons.

He is where you last saw him

In the back of your mind

Around a corner of pain

Lounging on your blood red sheets

A one dimpled smile and two words

Which open the gates of careless abandon.

"Come here"

And you battle every force of reason,

Turn a blind eye to the facts.

Refuse to hear the truth.

Falling and fading back

To the lies you tell yourself.

Nkem Oyaghire